and reality is starting to hit….

and reality is starting to hit….

So yesterday we had our exit conference, where we went over all of her test results and got the green light to proceed with the transplant.  You know the risks going into this but for some reason no matter how many people you know that have been down this road and you think you have been there for those friends reality hits that you really are clueless and can’t possibly understand until you are in the journey.  So for those friends that have preceded us in this journey I am so sorry I didn’t do more.  I’m not sure how we would be here if it wasn’t for everyone in our lives.   Each person has been instrumental in a myriad of ways.  Words will never adequately convey how blessed we are and how thankful we are.  One of my friend’s teenage daughter just texted me a joke and I busted out laughing.  Priceless.

Yesterday was not fun.  We got to hear all the what if’s of transplant.  Don’t be worried if she has to be on a ventilator temporarily to which K responded “I don’t want to be on a vent!”  Don’t be worried if we have to transfer her to ICU that happens 20% of the time.  They can handle everything but the ventilators and dialysis on the floor!  That is comforting and scary!!  This drug will cause this and this drug will cause that.  I know they are just doing their job and trying to prepare us but wow it is overwhelming.  The first dose of chemo will make her really sick and then Monday when they start the busulfan it will get a lot worse.  From that point until roughly the first 28 days so July 30 that will be the roughest.  so……

Today we had a break from the hospital! Wohooo!! We got to chill and Kimbell hung out with her grandparents today 🙂  Tomorrow is the last day she has before she goes into the hospital.  She has an appointment at the wig shop and then we are going fishing for Northern Pike.  I’m not sure who is more excited, her or John!!

Friday we have to be at the hospital at 11 to get her central line and to wash and culture her sinuses.  Yes, yet more good in her sinuses!  After that she will be admitted to the BMT floor where she will live for the next 6-8 weeks.  Hopefully if she stays on that floor then that means she is doing good!   Kimbell also wants to dye her hair rainbow colors before it falls out, so more pics to come!  The one and only time in her life that she can do whatever she wants with her hair.  I suspect she is going to take full advantage of the opportunity!

Please say prayers John and I have the strength to compose ourselves.  This is by far the most difficult journey we have ever gone on.  I wish I was as brave as Kimbell and my faith was so strong.  She has the right attitude “Mom either way I’m good to go.  I either get to be normal and live a normal life or I get to go to heaven and I will be normal there.”  I pray to God that he thinks she needs to be normal with us.

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John & Paige